The title is a very important part of this poem. W.S. Merwin is writing the poem to himself looking back over a continuum of time.
"Even when I forget you
I go on looking for you"
Sometimes he forgets himself, but he always keeps trying to figure out who he is or was.
"I believe I would know you
I keep remembering you
sometimes long ago but then
other times I am sure you
were here a moment before"
He's always remembering his past. Sometimes it seems as if the past was not so far back, but time can pass quickly.
"and the air is still alive
around where you were and I
think then I can recognize
you who are always the same
who pretend to be time but
you are not time and who speak
in the words but you are not
what they say you who are not
lost when I do not find you"
Our past is always still a part of us, people stay the same in some way. Even when he's not thinking about himself, whatever he is is still there.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The Awakening (Ch. 5-9)
Every summer since he was 15, Robert devoted himself to a different woman. One time, it was with Madame Ratignolle, but he acted differently with Edna than the others. "He never assumed his serio-coming tone when alone with Mrs.Pontellier." Edna sketches a picture of Adéle, which didn't look much like her. Adéle has a fainting spell, which Edna suspects is fake. After, she goes home and greets her children with "a thousand endearments". Robert asks Edna if she wants to go swimming, but she declines because she says she's tired. She goes with him to the beach anyway. She was "beginning to realize her position in the universe as a human being, and to recognize her relations as an individual to the world within and about her." Chopin also makes references to the ocean by writing, "The voice of the sea is seductive; never ceasing, whispering, clamoring, murmuring, inviting the soul to wander for a spell in abysses of solitude; to lose itself in mazes of inward comtemplation." and "The voice of the sea speaks to the soul. The touch of the sea is sensuous, enfloding the body in its soft, close embrace."
Edna never really talked about anything with other people. She "had apprehended the instinctively dual life - the outward existence which conforms, the inward life which questions." The summer at Grand Isle changed her a little, partly because of Adéle's influence. The two walk down to the beach together. Edna is looking out at the sea, and Adéle asks what Edna is thinking. She says she's thinking about a summer in Kentucky when she was young. Adéle puts her hand on Edna's, which Edna finds confusing at first because she's not used to Creole's expression of affection. She then starts to think about her children and how she sometimes would "gather them passionately to her heart" and other times forget them. Adéle asks Robert to leave Edna alone because she might take him seriously. He's offended. A few weeks after their conversaton, Adéle has some weekend guests who she entertains. Mademoiselle Reisz plays for Edna and she feels the music unlike the mental pictures she had when Adéle played. Mademoiselle Reisz tells her she's the only one worth playing for.
Edna never really talked about anything with other people. She "had apprehended the instinctively dual life - the outward existence which conforms, the inward life which questions." The summer at Grand Isle changed her a little, partly because of Adéle's influence. The two walk down to the beach together. Edna is looking out at the sea, and Adéle asks what Edna is thinking. She says she's thinking about a summer in Kentucky when she was young. Adéle puts her hand on Edna's, which Edna finds confusing at first because she's not used to Creole's expression of affection. She then starts to think about her children and how she sometimes would "gather them passionately to her heart" and other times forget them. Adéle asks Robert to leave Edna alone because she might take him seriously. He's offended. A few weeks after their conversaton, Adéle has some weekend guests who she entertains. Mademoiselle Reisz plays for Edna and she feels the music unlike the mental pictures she had when Adéle played. Mademoiselle Reisz tells her she's the only one worth playing for.
The Awakening (Ch. 1-4)
After reading all the reviews, I was curious to find out which side I agree with - "flawless art" or "an essentially vulgar story". The book starts out with bird imagery. Mr.Pontellier is sitting outside Madame Lebrun's cottage, but decides to leave because the noise the birds are making him are distracting him from reading the newspaper. As he's sitting outside his cottage, he sees his wife, Edna, walking toward him from the beach with Robert. Mr.Pontellier asks Robert if he wants to go play billiards with him, but Robert declines because he'd rather stay and talk with Edna. Robert talked about his intentions of going to Mexico and Edna talked about her childhood. Both were interested in what each other had to say. Mr.Pontellier returns home late from billiards and checks on the kids. He tells Edna that one of them has a fever, but she says he's fine. He criticizes her for her "habitual neglect of the children". Edna goes to the boys room, but when she returns to her room, she doesn't speak to her husband. She goes on the porch and begins to cry because of an "indescribable oppression". Mr.Pontellier leaves the next morning for business. He gives her money and sends a package a few days later. All the other ladies are talking about how Mr.Pontellier is the best husband in the world and Edna admits "she knew of none better". Mr.Pontellier doesn't like how Edna treats their sons. He thinks that Edna should idolize and devote all of herself to him and their children. Edna isn't a "mother-woman". Adéle Ratignolle was the "embodiment of every womanly grace and charm" and unlike Edna. Edna married a Creole but didn't feel comfortable in their society.
I wouldn't like their society either because I don't like the inequalities between men and women. It doesn't make sense to me why it would be acceptable for Mr.Pontellier to have an affair, but the the women are supposed to be devoted to their husbands. Also, I thought it was ridiculous that Mr.Pontellier woke his wife up to take care of the kids, when he could of easily done it himself, just because he doesn't think it's his job.
I wouldn't like their society either because I don't like the inequalities between men and women. It doesn't make sense to me why it would be acceptable for Mr.Pontellier to have an affair, but the the women are supposed to be devoted to their husbands. Also, I thought it was ridiculous that Mr.Pontellier woke his wife up to take care of the kids, when he could of easily done it himself, just because he doesn't think it's his job.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Heart of Darkness - Part II
Section 1:
Marlow is on a boat heading toward the center of the Congo. He overhears the Station Manager and his Uncle talking about Kurtz and they are talking about how Kurtz wants to rise up in the ranks and make things more moral. They want him hanged.
The Eldorado Expedition sets off into the wilderness and Marlow finds out later that they are dead. He refers to them as "less valuable animals"
Marlow has 6 pilgrims and 20 cannibals with him on his journey to the Inner Station. The pilgrims are white men from Europe who aren't just there for trade, but Marlow doesn't talk about their mission because he doesn't consider them important enough. In Europe, the land is controlled, but in Africa is it free. Marlow is sort of connected with the cannibals and almost admires them becaues of their self-restraint. Marlow himself also has a lot of self restraint. The human mind is capable of handling anything and not succumbing to the horror keeps people sane.
Fifty miles below the Inner Station, Marlow find's a Russians book in an abandoned hut. The book is in English and Marlow is attracted to the book because it is a glimpse of sanity and shows the value of work. Marlow must work hard to keep the steamboat working and he uses work to keep himself from thinking. Work causes the truth to fade.
When they get close to the Inner Station, Marlow hears screaming. He can't see who's screaming because of the white mist. White is hiding evil.
Section 2:
Marlow doesn't think his boat will be attacked, but they get attacked and the helmsman, who is a native to Africa, is killed. He has been characterizing the land as savage that will attack, but he now realizes the land is teaming with life. The steamboat causes the natives grief because they think that Kurtz is going to be taken away.
Marlow thinks that Kurtz is dead and this bothers him because he never got to hear him speak. Kurtz has come to represent the importance of his mission, but he doesn't realize why Kurtz has become so important to him. He's now seeking Kurtz more than adventure. He compares himself to the agony of the savages to his sorrow at not being able to talk to Kurtz. It's as if he's been robbed of his beliefs or missed his destiny in life. Marlow finds out that Kurtz isn't dead. He gets to talk to Kurtz, but it's different than he had imagined. When they arrive at the Inner Station, they meet the Russian Harlequin, who left the book, and realize he is obsessed with Kurtz.
There is a jump in narrative that takes the reader to Marlow's encounter with Kurtz where they talk about the "intended". He thinks that women are not part of the darkness and help them stay out of the darkness. Kurtz is bald and his head is compared to ivory. What's in his head is as valuable as ivory. Kurtz things he's in charge and him saying, "My intended, my ivory, my station, my river, my..." shows this. However, the darkness has already taken over him. Kurtz symbolizes Europe. Europe couldn't handle the darkness and it would destroy them. In his pamphlet, he says the whites are treated as a deity and he is treated like one by the natives. He also says the exterminate all the brutes, but he seems to forget he wrote that.
The men on the Nellie can't relate to the insanity Kurtz experiences because they are still part of society.
Marlow is on a boat heading toward the center of the Congo. He overhears the Station Manager and his Uncle talking about Kurtz and they are talking about how Kurtz wants to rise up in the ranks and make things more moral. They want him hanged.
The Eldorado Expedition sets off into the wilderness and Marlow finds out later that they are dead. He refers to them as "less valuable animals"
Marlow has 6 pilgrims and 20 cannibals with him on his journey to the Inner Station. The pilgrims are white men from Europe who aren't just there for trade, but Marlow doesn't talk about their mission because he doesn't consider them important enough. In Europe, the land is controlled, but in Africa is it free. Marlow is sort of connected with the cannibals and almost admires them becaues of their self-restraint. Marlow himself also has a lot of self restraint. The human mind is capable of handling anything and not succumbing to the horror keeps people sane.
Fifty miles below the Inner Station, Marlow find's a Russians book in an abandoned hut. The book is in English and Marlow is attracted to the book because it is a glimpse of sanity and shows the value of work. Marlow must work hard to keep the steamboat working and he uses work to keep himself from thinking. Work causes the truth to fade.
When they get close to the Inner Station, Marlow hears screaming. He can't see who's screaming because of the white mist. White is hiding evil.
Section 2:
Marlow doesn't think his boat will be attacked, but they get attacked and the helmsman, who is a native to Africa, is killed. He has been characterizing the land as savage that will attack, but he now realizes the land is teaming with life. The steamboat causes the natives grief because they think that Kurtz is going to be taken away.
Marlow thinks that Kurtz is dead and this bothers him because he never got to hear him speak. Kurtz has come to represent the importance of his mission, but he doesn't realize why Kurtz has become so important to him. He's now seeking Kurtz more than adventure. He compares himself to the agony of the savages to his sorrow at not being able to talk to Kurtz. It's as if he's been robbed of his beliefs or missed his destiny in life. Marlow finds out that Kurtz isn't dead. He gets to talk to Kurtz, but it's different than he had imagined. When they arrive at the Inner Station, they meet the Russian Harlequin, who left the book, and realize he is obsessed with Kurtz.
There is a jump in narrative that takes the reader to Marlow's encounter with Kurtz where they talk about the "intended". He thinks that women are not part of the darkness and help them stay out of the darkness. Kurtz is bald and his head is compared to ivory. What's in his head is as valuable as ivory. Kurtz things he's in charge and him saying, "My intended, my ivory, my station, my river, my..." shows this. However, the darkness has already taken over him. Kurtz symbolizes Europe. Europe couldn't handle the darkness and it would destroy them. In his pamphlet, he says the whites are treated as a deity and he is treated like one by the natives. He also says the exterminate all the brutes, but he seems to forget he wrote that.
The men on the Nellie can't relate to the insanity Kurtz experiences because they are still part of society.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Heart of Darkness - Part I
Marlow is telling his story about his adventures in the Congo while aboard the Nellie on the Thames River. He uses the word "gloom" many times, such as "mournful gloom" and "brooding gloom" to represent darkness. Freslaven is the first example of what darkness can do and he is an example of deterioration resulting from darkness.
An example of black and white symbolism is the maps. The blank, or white, maps are good because they're unexplored. Eventually those blank spaces have been filled in and are black and dark because of colonization, which he is a part of. However, while other people are in it for reasons such as money, Conrad is in it for the adventure. He compares the river to a snake and says, "The snake had charmed me." A snake could devour a bird just like Africa could devour him.
He visits the doctor before his trip to the Congo, where his interaction with the doctor seems unusual. The doctor measures his skull and asks if there has been any madness in his family. Marlow asks the doctor if he will measure his skull when he gets back and the doctor says no because he doesn't think he'll see him again. He says goodbye by saying adieu, which is goodbye forever.
There are many moments where Conrad makes racist comments. For example, he writes, "Black rags were wound round their loins and the short ends behind waggled to and fro like tails. I could see every rib, the joints of their limbs were like knots in a rope, each had an iron collar on his neck and all were connected together with a chain whose bights swung between them, rhythmically clinking." He describes them like animals, but they are not his enemy.
In the second section, there are more examples of racism such as, "The pilgrims could be seen in knots gesticulating, discussing. Several still had their staves in their hands. I verily believe they took these sticks to bed with them."
An example of black and white symbolism is the maps. The blank, or white, maps are good because they're unexplored. Eventually those blank spaces have been filled in and are black and dark because of colonization, which he is a part of. However, while other people are in it for reasons such as money, Conrad is in it for the adventure. He compares the river to a snake and says, "The snake had charmed me." A snake could devour a bird just like Africa could devour him.
He visits the doctor before his trip to the Congo, where his interaction with the doctor seems unusual. The doctor measures his skull and asks if there has been any madness in his family. Marlow asks the doctor if he will measure his skull when he gets back and the doctor says no because he doesn't think he'll see him again. He says goodbye by saying adieu, which is goodbye forever.
There are many moments where Conrad makes racist comments. For example, he writes, "Black rags were wound round their loins and the short ends behind waggled to and fro like tails. I could see every rib, the joints of their limbs were like knots in a rope, each had an iron collar on his neck and all were connected together with a chain whose bights swung between them, rhythmically clinking." He describes them like animals, but they are not his enemy.
In the second section, there are more examples of racism such as, "The pilgrims could be seen in knots gesticulating, discussing. Several still had their staves in their hands. I verily believe they took these sticks to bed with them."
Poetry Response - My Fear
In this poem, Raab personifies fear. It reminds me of the little person sitting on your shoulder whispering things in your ear. He, being fear, follows and keeps track of people like the annoying voice telling you things that won't leave you alone. The person narrating this poem wants Mr. Fear to give him something small that can fit in his pocket and fall through so that it doesn't bother or stick to him and is easily ignored. He also wishes that fear gives him a small brown bat or crickets because there are things he is familiar with and are easy to handle. We can all relate to this poem because all of us have small fears, such as getting a bad grade on a test, to big fears like having a meteor fall from the sky and land on you. We can't avoid having fears, but some of them we can ignore and deal with better than others.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Eveline
Eveline is about a woman who is supposed to move away to live with a man who loves her but changes her mind.
Level One: Which one of her brothers died?
Level Two: Why did she change her mind about going?
Level Three: What decision do you think you would have made if you were in a similar situation?
Eveline changes her mind about going because even though leaving is in her best interest, it's a big change. Her situation at home isn't desirable, but it's familiar to her which keeps her stuck in it. There are a lot of situations similar to hers, some of which I've experienced. You know something needs to change but it's difficult and you don't want to because it's familiar. Even though you don't like the situation, the fact it's what you know makes it somewhat comfortable.
I'd like to say that I would have made what most people would consider the right decision by leaving. It's easy for me to say that I would have left, but if the decision was left completely up to me, it's quite possible I'd choose to stay in my current situation. I don't really like change that much, and I would need someone to push me to make the decision that's best. If someone did that, such as my parents, I would probably leave. The theme of this story is change and how difficult it can be even if it benefits a person.
Level One: Which one of her brothers died?
Level Two: Why did she change her mind about going?
Level Three: What decision do you think you would have made if you were in a similar situation?
Eveline changes her mind about going because even though leaving is in her best interest, it's a big change. Her situation at home isn't desirable, but it's familiar to her which keeps her stuck in it. There are a lot of situations similar to hers, some of which I've experienced. You know something needs to change but it's difficult and you don't want to because it's familiar. Even though you don't like the situation, the fact it's what you know makes it somewhat comfortable.
I'd like to say that I would have made what most people would consider the right decision by leaving. It's easy for me to say that I would have left, but if the decision was left completely up to me, it's quite possible I'd choose to stay in my current situation. I don't really like change that much, and I would need someone to push me to make the decision that's best. If someone did that, such as my parents, I would probably leave. The theme of this story is change and how difficult it can be even if it benefits a person.
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